Hogwarts and Remus Lupin
by Gray Wings
Summary: All the events, happening in Remus Lupin's life from Severus Snape's point of view. Amusing. Slash. Don't say I didn't warn you! [SBRL]


**_Author's Note:_ Wee! My first "Harry Potter" story! XD Hope you like it!**

**_Disclaimer:_ Nope, I do not own Harry Potter. Heh. You probably saw tha one coming.**

* * *

**_Hogwarts and Remus Lupin_**

* * *

Smiling girls, grinning boys, disapproving teachers. A flick of dark robes behind a corner, silent giggles. Then laughter.

Frowning forth-years cuddling in a corridor talking, shy first-years bristling about, trying not to make any sound while passing wrestling six-years in some corridor or another. A bell ringing. Sounds of hurried footsteps all over worn-out marble. Doors opening and closing.

Silence.

And yet it is not completely silent, for if one knows how to listen, the steady murmur of teachers going on and on about a subject or another would reach their ears. And sometimes even hesitant answers from a misfortune student, or in Ms. Granger's situation – a much-awaited response. You can even hear the ghosts moaning in some dark corner, going about their business, or the heavy footsteps of Flinch as he goes around the old castle, taking care of pranksters and complaining about someone having walked inside with dirt clinging to their boots.

Honestly Hogwarts, the school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was _never_ silent.

That is and why, after all those years, I – Severus Snape - am still here. For as long as there are voices to annoy me, or students to punish, my thoughts would be occupied and my mind would be at rest.

And thus, I would be too busy and unable to think of _him_.

* * *

It was in my first year, the first time I ever stepped on Platform 9 ¾, when I first saw the shy, respectful kid that was once Remus Lupin. 

I would never – or at the least as long as I live – forget our first meeting. I was walking in direction of the puffing train, pushing my luggage in front of me and staring into my very first "Defense Against the Dark Arts" textbooks, very much not paying attention to bristling kids all around me, trying to make friends. After all, I didn't need friends – who in Slytherin does? And I was sure I would be in Slytherin, of course. Every single member of my family had been, so why expect anything else?

I continued walking, my nose still very much in the book I was holding. That is and how I didn't see the small, scrawny-looking boy until it was too late and we had collided. He stumbled over my luggage and fell into my arms, his wide golden-eyes staring into mine - horrified. If I had ever believed into it, I would've said it was love from first sight.

All too soon he moved away, apologizing like crazy and helping me up while babbling about him 'reading' and 'not watching where he was going'. I, however, could only stare at him, mouth slightly agape, his apologies going by with me only hearing his deep, warm voice. I couldn't even find the words to insult him, as a proper Slytherin would've done.

Before knowing what I was doing I had asked him for his name.

He smiled and I lost myself into him again – and oh, God, but he was perfect. I almost missed his name when he said it.

Remus Lupin. This name would haunt me for almost twenty years, and had I known then I would've just turned around and left.

But I didn't. So I offered him my hand, name, and without knowing – my heart.

And he took them with a brilliant smile.

"Severus, you are my very first friend."

And he was and always will be my only.

* * *

I didn't see him again until we reached Hogwarts and entered the Great Hall. Don't get me wrong – I absolutely wanted to be with him on the ride to Hogwarts, but I had already made plans to stay with Lucius Malfoy – a friend, if I could ever call him that. Honestly, sometimes I wonder what would've happened to me if I had chosen to stay with Remus at that very first ride. Could the future be somehow different? 

The first thing I remember seeing from the Great Hall were not the flying candles, or the ever-changing weather, or even the glorious room and silent waves of power and magic, which seemed to come out of the very walls. No, the first thing I saw was my Remus; sitting on a chair with the infamous Sorting Hat perched onto his head. I held my breath, silently praying that he would be in Slytherin.

And yet again Lady Fate was cruel to me, for as soon as the hat touched his sun-kissed head it screeched 'Gryffindor!'

I don't remember being more disappointed in my entire life.

And just as quickly my disappointment turned into anger as I saw Remus walking towards a group of first-year Gryffindors, smiling. The tallest of the three – a good-looking boy with longish, dark hair, which I immediately recognized as Sirius Black – hugged him. How dare he touch Remus? And that boy with the glasses, and the fat little mudblood! How dare they?

As if feeling my eyes on him Remus turned, and seeing me gave me the thumbs up, smiling. I knew what that meant. He was still my friend, and he always would be. However, that did nothing to soothe the anger boiling inside me.

From that day on, I started hating the trio that became Remus' best friends.

And yet again I can't help but wonder – what would've happened if the Sorting Hat had put my dear Remus in Slytherin?

The next few months went by in a blur, with me seeing Remus ever other day, secretly meeting in the library when Potter and Black where at Quiditch practices and the mudblood at tutoring (honestly, I was surprised someone actually had the time to listen to his gibberish). I, of course, was a little hurt that Remus wanted our friendship to be a secret, but I really couldn't blame him. After all it was I, who began the never-ending battle in between the self-proclaimed Marauders and myself. And to be fair to Remus, he never did include himself into any pranks against my person. Plus, we were into the two most rivaling houses. It wasn't easy let me tell you.

Anyway. As I said, it was a few months into the term when I noticed that something was really wrong with Remus. He would constantly stare out of the window the few times we met by night, and a few days of the month would drag himself to class, looking like crap. And not to mention the fact he disappeared off to somewhere every single month. As any true Slytherin I didn't said anything, but started really looking at him and waiting to see what would come out.

It wasn't even the end of the year when I finally understood his little secret. My dear, shy and innocent Remus Lupin was a werewolf.

'Shocked' wouldn't even cover _half_ of what I was feeling.

I cornered him about it the very next day. At first he denied it, but seeing it would get him nowhere he finally told me everything. How he was bitten when he was seven, how he had to live in a cage the days before every single transformation into his old house, how even his family was afraid of him. By the end of the story he was in tears and clutching at me, pleading for me not to hate him and tell no one, for he would be sent back home if someone understood.

That was the first time I ever told him I loved him.

I remember he looked shocked – who wouldn't be? – and suddenly I was the one, fearing our friendship would end.

He smiled. He smiled and told me he loved me too, but not in the way I wanted him to love me. He said he was sorry.

And then, while watching him smile so beautifully at me, I didn't care. All that mattered to me was that he would still love me the way he did now fifty years from today. That he would still hold my hand like that. That he would still smile at me. That I always would be able to call him 'friend'.

And as long as he did, I would never need any other.

Plus, it was kind of ego-boost to know that I was the first one in the entire school to know his secret. Take that, Potter!

* * *

Our first year went by so fast that before I knew it I was once again standing on the platform of 9 ¾, staring at the beautiful face of my Remus as he chatted to Black. He wrote to me in the summer, and I even came over for a few days. 

It is good to have friends.

The second year began as any other at first, with one small difference – now it wasn't only me, sharing Remus' secret. He told me a few nights into the term, all the while smiling with joy that his other friends knew and completely understood. I had never seen him happier – I was even able to forget my jealousy of _them_ while staring at his face. He was simply breathtaking.

And then, just when I had actually started liking the three idiots, Remus whispered:

"Sev, I think I am in love with Sirius."

Well, back to hating them to death, I guess.

* * *

The next three months were hell. Remus was coming to meet me more often than before, and even though at first I was glad (after all, I did get to see him more), when he started coming in the library crying I knew I had to do something. Who did Black think he was, after all? Here was the most beautiful, intelligent, kind guy in the whole school pinning _after_ him, and he acted like the school's playboy? Honestly, if I were in Remus' situation, I would've been crying, too (not that I ever will, mind you). Everyone knew Sirius Black had a new lay almost every night. Poor Remus. I was starting to think he knew and was purposively ignoring the werewolf – I mean, even _I_, probably the only person who tried _not_ to be in Black's presence, have seen the lovesick look in Remus' eyes while looking at the bastard. 

Anyway, I had to either help Remus, or hex the hell out of Black. And as tempting the second option was I knew Remus would not forgive me for that one, and I couldn't have that now could I?

Anyway. As I said, I tried to think of a plan to get them together, while at the same time comfort the poor werewolf. Yes, I don't miss the irony of the situation. Now shut up before I take points out of your House.

As I was saying, I thought of a plan. It wasn't that complicated – actually, it was quite the opposite. And I did get them together in the end. The look of pure happiness on Remus' face was worth the pink hair and the week of detention.

What the plan was? Oh, I just cornered the four Marauders and accused Black and Remus of being a couple (quite loudly and with a choice of words I'd rather not repeat), which resulted into a duel. The ending was quite fortunate for Remus. Nothing like the power of suggestion, right?

Well, with that interesting experience our second year ended. Remus wrote me almost every week in the summer, as usual, but this time his letters were not sad descriptions of how his family looked at him like he was about to eat them all. No, this time they were happy, telling me how Black was writing to him almost every day, how sweet of a boyfriend he was, and how much he loved him. Blah.

Anyway. Our third year was mostly uneventful, with the exception of a few pranks, so I would skip it. Now our fourth year… That was a different story.

* * *

I have no idea how it got into Black's stupid head that I was trying to steal Remus from him, but it did. He would glare at me every time I accidentally brushed past Remus, or outright accuse me of molesting him in the middle of some hall. Remus and I ignored him most of the time, but soon it got worse. He would practically _stalk_ Remus from morning to nightfall, until we had to give up at meeting in the library. It was understatement to say that I was pissed. 

The last straw however came one night, when I was sitting in the library – alone and not too happy about it – and Black came storming in. At first I thought he wanted to hex me while Remus wasn't there to stop him, so I got my wand ready and snarled openly at him. However, he stopped calmly before reaching me and whispered 'Come with me'.

I, being a stubborn Slytherin, refused to show weakness or fear, so I stood up and followed him. We walked through the silent halls, then out of the school, not saying a word to each other. By now I had a pretty good idea where we were going, and as Black took the turn towards the Whipping Willow I had the urge to bang his head against something hard. Was he _honestly_ about to do such a horrible thing? Betray Remus? And for what? So I could be dead and not a rival for the werewolf's attention? Was this the 'loving boyfriend' Remus described to me the previous summer? To me Black looked more homicidal then loving right at that moment.

As the idiot showed me how to get into the place where my best friend turned into a werewolf once a month, I silently cursed. There was no way out of this, except telling Black I knew about Remus. Or killing him. Hmm… Tempting…

But no, I couldn't do that to Remus. Plus, if I have to be honest, from the second I understood my dear friend was a werewolf, I wondered how the shy, perfect Remus Lupin would look as a magnificent, dangerous beast. So I followed him into the shack.

This moment was soon to be among the things I dearly regret doing in the past years.

To cut things short (I don't want to remember that dreadful night more than humanly possible), now I would've been permanently occupying Remus' belly if it weren't for Potter. Ugh. It just had to be _him_ saving me, didn't it?

As a result I didn't see Remus for almost two months. I am still not sure if it was out of guilt on Remus' part, or anger at me for coming into the shack. Black didn't get out of Remus' wrath, either. I heard from someone that he actually had to beg Remus not to dump him. Not that they knew why Hogwarts' sweethearts were in a row, but it was amusing nonetheless.

Anyway. I finally saw Remus again two weeks before the end of the year. Aside of apologies on both sides our meeting was nothing out of the ordinary. That made me feel much better – I don't know what I would've done if I had lost Remus.

* * *

Our fifth and sixth year went by without anything interesting, except Potter asking Evans to marry him at the end of our sixth year. She said yes. I still don't know why. 

As our seventh year came, so did and the N.E.W.T.S. Don't get me wrong – I was sure I would pass them, but still there wasn't much free time. Which, of course, resulted in Remus not coming to meet me, because he was spending every free minute with his boyfriend. Oh, joy.

Finally, the poor werewolf snapped. He had to run from me to his friends and back, _and_ study on top of that. It was too much for his already taut nerves. He told the three Gryffindorks he was friends with me and had been from our first year.

Do you really need me to tell you how that went?

Well, it wasn't _that_ bad. Potter got over it in a few days, and whatever Potter does, Pettigrew follows. He even told the relieved Remus they would come with him to the library. Remus thought it was an effort of their side to befriend me, but I think it was just so they could keep an eye on him. Like I was capable of ever hurting Remus.

Black, on the other side, was another story. He completely ignored Remus for months – all the way until graduation. Someone even said he had dumped the poor werewolf, but Remus didn't say anything, so I didn't ask. However, the tears in his eyes every time he looked at said idiot were enough of a proof. From then on I hated Black even more.

Our graduation went by so fast that I didn't even have the chance to say a proper goodbye to Remus, with Voldemort rising and all. And no, I wasn't a part of the Death Eaters at that time – I couldn't bear the disapproving look Remus was sure to have when I told him. And I would've told him, if I had to see him everyday at school. I was never able to hide anything from him.

Soon the horrible news of the death of the young Potter family reached my ears, along with the unbelievable story of Black betraying his friends and being sent to Azkaban.

Remus didn't write to me for three years afterwards. I was actually happy – I don't know what he would've said if I had told him I had been a Death Eater.

* * *

Years went by – I didn't hear from Remus. I remember taking the post as a teacher in Hogwarts only for the hope I will someday see him – I knew his dream was to teach. 

And at the end he did come – looking as haggard and worried as ever – but still, my Remus had come! And at once it seemed that we were back in school, not as teachers but as innocent students, sitting in the library and talking quietly. And every month, as I got the Wolfbone ready for him I relished in the fact it was only I, seeing him in his other form.

And yet, as I watched the skinny, tired wolf – a mere shadow of the magnificent, golden-eyed beast I had seen so many years ago, I knew that inside my Remus was slowly dying. And I knew the reason, too.

Sirius Black.

It wasn't healthy for a werewolf to live as long as Remus had away from his mate. It wasn't even possible in most situations, but Remus was as stubborn as me – I knew he would continue fighting Death.

The question was, however, until when?

That is and why, with all my fear in my heart for Remus, I was actually happy when Black escaped from Azkaban, and then later on from Hogwarts and me. The sheer joy in Remus' smile when he understood his lover had never betrayed their friends was enough for me. I had my old Remus back – that's all that mattered.

And I would never forgive that dumb mudblood Pettigrew, either. No one deserves to live after doing that to Remus. And if he is to live, I would make sure the rest of his life is lived in full misery and hopelessness, as were twenty of Remus' years.

* * *

For one year Remus was completely happy, living with Black in the old Black manor, laughing and smiling like the old times. And when Remus is happy, I am happy. So you see, this was by far my best year. 

And then Black disappeared again.

I honestly didn't know what to expect from Remus – I thought he was going to cry, sink deeper into depression, or outright try to kill himself (I hid all sharp and pointy objects for nearly a month). However, I didn't expect the silent gleam of determination in his eyes.

And then I knew.

If there was anyone, capable of finding Black and pulling him out of the Veil, then that would be my sweet, kind Remus Lupin.

* * *

"Err… That was a great story, professor, but I came here to ask you if you could help me with this," Draco Malfoy snapped, lifting his left arm, to which another hand was molded. 

"Ah… So those sounds _were_ coming from Sirius' bedroom!" Harry said, thoughtfully looking at the wall in front of him. Draco stared at him with disgust.

"I so didn't want to know that…"

**The End**

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